Bubble Butt Bubble Butt

Say my name say my name, when no one is around you say baby I love you why the sudden change.

I have this growing fear that I am part of a social experiment or on The Truman Show part 2. Do you ever think to yourself while your driving that someone is watching you or listening to you sing Destiny's Child? I have had this happen a couple times recently where I will be hitting the chorus like a motha fucka and then bam...Shit, what if there are millions of people watching me get down to DC? It's scary actually. Maybe one day I will escape this false world I am living in like Jim Carey and all the baby mama's will be like oh heyyyyyyy boy damn you sing real nice wanna have coitus? This will not happen. Mistakes.

So my new way of trying to pick up females has been to telepathically try and manipulate them into talking to me or getting naked. I figured talking to them and trying to make conversation is way to hard and has a 100% failure rate so new methods are required. I was taking the train back from Toronto on Monday and there was this scrumptious girl (I'm talking filthy, and she was wearing what must be a new lulu lemon ultra tight and see thru legging, damn girl, call me)sitting a few seats away and I was trying my new process. Here are the telepathic sequence of events:

Mike: Hey babe, look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. Baby girl, look at me!!!. Yoooooooo!!!!!!! Look at me.

Hotty: Looks up and in my direction.

Mike: Made brief eye contact, looks away in fear. Mistakes. Let's try this again....Baby girl, holla at me. Look at me, look at me!!!!!!

Hotty: Looks back at me.

Mike: Heyyyyyyyyyyyyy, how does you me and a bucket of chicken sound?

Hotty: Begins to look disturbed.

Mike: C'mon baby, get naked.

Hotty: Proceeds to move to the next car down.

Mike: 0 for 1.

So my stupidity is growing to new levels. This may be very, very hard for some of you to believe since I am very special as is. As some of you may know I have been going to the gym a lot lately and as of last week I inadvertently started to make the most retarded hand gestures . It started when I was doing an exercise with a cable machine and I had one hand free, I was working super hard for all the philly's in the gym, holla ladies, and then looked at my buddy dying laughing at me. Turns out when I have one hand free during exercises I make the most awkward hand position. If any girl is looking at me, any chance of conversation is immediately shattered (like my hopes and dreams). Like where did this come from? Why did I start doing this as of last week? Its funny because I actually do it all the time now, I will be walking on the treadmill and look down and bam, crookshank hand is in full effect. I can't escape it. As the saying goes.....Mistakes!!!
I have included the below picture to demonstrate, although in real time it is much more repulsive and the ladies are disgusted, let me tell you.

Gucci Mane Out!
Peace be with you.

PS: My future wife

YahhhhWayyyyyy Iiiiiii Knoowwwwwwww youuuuuu areeeeeeee Nearrrrr

Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been 16 years 243 days and 17 hours since my last confession.

So I am recently single and have realised I am partially handicap. I had known this for quite some time, but it is becoming more evident with everyday that passes.

I recently went to the bar (Hey Bitcheeeeesssss) and it has come to my attention that a Delicious Asian girl had come up to me to discuss my striking good looks and amazing personality. I clearly had a minor black out and do not recall the situation. This is frustrating because I have always wanted to get with an Asian girl (fried rice is the shit!!).

My friend filled me in and had told me that the first thing she asked me was how old I was. Not thinking, clearly, I responded by saying 24, instantly killing any chances by lying immediately after meeting this girl. So I ruined my chances of having some authentic won ton soup after a night of steamy coitus. Mistakes.

Its funny how you need to find your groove again after being out of the game for a while. Maybe I should be ruthless now and try and be a predator. Hey babyyyyy, how does you + me + and a bucket of KFC sound?....or hey babyyyyy, wanna honk on bowbow?

 I don't know. Whatever I guess. Funny hearing about the story after.

The moral of the story is don't lie to sexy ladies, they don't like it.

Tity Boi outtttttttt. Hollllllllllaaaaaaaa

Ouu babyyy

Since I have no chance with females, I wanna have relations with this piece of cheesecake. look at it! Shiiiiiit, add that to the Maxim hot 100 after my girl Mila....Imagine hooking up with Mila while eating this cheesecake? Wow.

Mistakes

This is it...waiting for the next call...like a monkey. No hopes, no dreams. I think it is time to find a career, not a job. To do something that I actually want to do and do not consider calling in sick everyday of the year. Working for these big companies with the politics involved is not for me. No matter how qualified I am or how hard I try, I will never progress here. I am a robot, talking about the same shit everyday. I feel like I am consumed by this rat race, going to work for the man, to hopefully have enough money one day to travel and enjoy myself. I feel like picking up and starting over....somewhere hot!!! I don't even know what to say, what a gay day. Send me somewhere warm so I can get drunk and black out on a beach and make out with a seal.

Spadagucci Out!!!